The Dreadful Dungeon (And Other Cliches)

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The last thing Zoe Heriot remembered was falling asleep. It was on her uncomfortable apartment’s bed, but it was her… ‘home’, though ‘dwelling’ was a more appropriate term. It was just somewhere she kept her files and rested at night. It was small, and crowded, but it was warm and she was safe there. It was a very far cry from where she was now.

The walls were made of ice. The ceiling – what little she could see of it – had icicles dripping down and there were ice pillars all around her. The floor was icy and Zoe knew it was slippery from trying to walk barefooted around. Fortunately she had discovered two pairs of snowboots, along with other clothes suited for heavy winter. She was bundled up now, but she was still considerably cold. Each puff of breath she could see, wrapping its way around her before drifting upwards.

There were torches mounted on the wall and Zoe felt behind them to check for any water leaking to see if she could simply melt her way through this blasted cavern, but instead the walls were still just as cold even with the flames licking just above it. “Brilliant,” she breathed, not sounding especially impressed. There were four doors that she could see – a wooden door to the north with ‘N1’ carved, another wooden door with ‘W1’, a stone door with ‘W2’ carved in carefully, and then another wooden door with ‘S2’.

“So,” Zoe muttered, “logically there has to be an S1 somewhere…”

Another glance around the room didn’t provide any immediate results. There was some sort of drawing that she didn’t understand on one of the walls, and there was a buzzing at the east wall, but her knocking against it didn’t prove any results. She sighed and crossed her arms, her pale brown eyes landing on a statue in the far corner. That certainly looked suspicious.

And so, for that matter, did the other girl that Zoe just noticed. Zoe took a few steps towards her, raising an eyebrow. “Do you speak English?” she questioned, putting her hands on her hips as she looked the girl over. “Do you know where we are? Or how I got here? Is this an ice cavern?”

[ooc| @elizabethedwards if she wants, and open]

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Lizzie shivered. Why was it so cold? Sure it got cold in her warehouse from time to time, but never this cold. She slowly opened her eyes to see the icicles dangling from the ceiling. Icicles? She quickly sat up looking around the room. Everything was covered in ice, the walls, the floor, herself. She rubbed her arms to try and create some friction. The one time she decides not to wear her sweatshirt, she gets sent to some igloo.

She checked her pockets for her cell phone. luckily she still had it, she took it out, pressing the on button. Of course it didn't turn on. That would be too easy, she should know this by now.. With a frown she put it back in her pocket, wouldn't want to waste a perfectly good cell phone corpse. “Do you speak English?” she questioned, putting her hands on her hips as she looked the girl over. “Do you know where we are? Or how I got here? Is this an ice cavern?”

She looked up at the girl standing in front of her. " No i speak German." She stood up carefully, trying not to slip and crack her head open on the icy floor. " I don't know where we are, or how you got here. But I do know that this is one big Igloo..." She walked over to the girl, looking her up and down. At least her igloo mate hadn't tried to kill her yet.

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Zoe puffed out her cheeks and rolled her eyes, clearly mildly annoyed by the girl. German, eh? “Sarkasmus ist die niedrigst Form des Witzes,” Zoe said, shaking her head slightly. She saw the girl’s rather… inappropriate… outfit for the weather. She had been dressed in her pyjamas herself when she’d been transported here. She walked over to the other side of the room where another lump of clothing was. The boots, which fit almost suspiciously well, prevented her from sliding around on the ice floor.

“Here,” she said, walking back to the girl and dropping them at her feet. “These should fit. It’s where I found my clothes from.” A smirk tugged at her lips. “This isn’t an igloo, by the way. The structure is all wrong, and anyway it’s too big.” Other than disproving the girl’s suggestion it was an igloo, Zoe couldn’t offer much of anything else that was useful. “Well,” she said, pointing to the four doors, N1, W1, W2, S2, “which door do you think we should try first? We can’t just stay around here waiting for someone to help us.”

Zoe put her hands in her coat pockets, shivering slightly. “My name is Zoe, by the way. Who are you?”

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Lizzie looked up at the girl when she spoke German. Two can play at this game… “ Oh, wirklich? Besser als andere Formen der Rede…” She might not actually be German, but didn't mean she couldn't speak it. It was kind of a hobby of hers. She looked down at the cloths, picking them back up swiftly. She quickly pulled them on over her own cloths. They fit perfectly… how strange. She listened to the girl explain to her that it wasn't a igloo as she finished pulling on her boots. “ At least that’s something.” She stood back up, walking over to stand by the girl…. Zoe was her name. Lizzie carefully examined the four doors she was pointing at. At least they were labeled.

“I’m Elizabeth.” She started walking towards the door labeled N1. “ Come along Zoe, might as well start with North 1.” At least that’s what she assumed the markings meant. If not then she was completely lost as to who, or what, would put n1 on a door and have it not mean a certain direction. Or maybe it was even coordinates! Oh don’t be foolish Liz, this isn't one of your science fiction novels. She thought to herself, as she carefully opened the surprisingly unlocked door.

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"Why North 1?" Zoe asked Elizabeth curiously. Was she used to being in these situations? Did north have a better connotation? Of course not, though... Elizabeth seemed just as confused as Zoe did. She put her hands in the coat pockets, following Lizzie as she walked through the door. It didn't seem too awful yet - perhaps her fatalist thinking earlier hadn't been entirely deserved. Besides it being absolutely frigid, nothing dangerous had happened.

Just as she'd thought that, she tripped slightly over a wire and heard the sound of a snapping string. She pushed Lizzie forwards instinctively as she fell back. Six arrows flew past where they had just been standing only milliseconds after Zoe had knocked them both out of the way. The arrows embedded themselves into the wall, slime oozing out of them and beginning to the corrode the walls. "Great," she said, a little breathlessly as she moved into the same room as Elizabeth. "Acidic arrows."

She looked around carefully, her eyes first landing on the two swords that seemed to be cast aside on the ground. Her eyes lifted up to the creature standing in front of them. It had the body of a hairy man, with a long rat's tail protruding from the back with the head and face of a rat. The eyes were glowing red. Well, just when she didn't think things could get better...

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“ Why not? My guess is that the doors are sorted by direction. So, I’m assuming that N1, stands for North 1.” She shrugged, logical thinking wasn’t really Lizzie’s area anyway. She was more of the, live in your parents basement tech guy….. But way cooler. She carefully watched where she was going, in most of the dungeon’s she’s been in there had been some sort of booby trap to try and stop her from going further in. Well, virtually anyway.

In the midst of her thought, she heard a snapping sound followed by Zoe pushing her into the room in front of them. She heard thumping sounds from behind, and slowly turned to see if Zoe was okay. About six arrows were embedded into the wall where they had been standing seconds ago. The tips were already making the wall melt away. “That looks like it would be extremely painful...” She followed Zoe’s line of sight, first to the swords, then to the terrifying monster standing in front of them. Quickly Lizzie lounged to the side, and picked up one of the swords. It was surprisingly light. Like it was made specifically for her. She rolled her wrist, making the sword go in a small circle. It had perfect balance. She smiled to herself, then looked at Zoe. “Well don’t just stand there. I think our friend over there isn’t that patient.”

The creature in front of them was huffing, and looked about ready to charge them. She walked slowly in front of the creature, holding her sword in front of her. “Can’t we talk about this like civilized people? Or well, rat people?” Evidently the creature didn’t find Lizzie amusing, and charged at her. She quickly jumped to the side letting the monster crash into the cement wall. “Touchy touchy. I know a good psychologist who could help you with your anger issues. I think you need it.” The Monster took two steps away from the wall it had crashed into, shaking its head to clear it. Lizzie looked behind the monster to see if Zoe was okay, and if she had picked up the second sword yet. She had a feeling they were gonna need it.

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Zoe grabbed one of the swords, giving it an experimental roll. She wasn’t trained for this – she knew how to fight hand-to-hand thanks to mandatory combat training, but they’d never taught her to fight with a sword. Still, how hard could it be? It was like hitting people with a stick – except a bit heavier and more lethal. She looked up as Lizzie taunted the rat man. Great – it would be her luck to get locked in a room with a psychopath and a ratperson. “This really isn’t the time for recommendations,” Zoe hissed, scrambling backwards as the creature slammed into the wall after Lizzie jumped away.

She glanced at Lizzie and gave a brief nod to show she was fine. Okay. She moved back to the hallway, grabbing an arrow and throwing it at Lizzie. “Put the poison acid on the tip of your sword,” she said, pulling out another arrow and doing the same to hers. She stabbed the creature in the side with the sword, earning a roar from it as it picked her up by the front of her clothes and threw her across the room. It pulled the sword out and threw it out into the hall. “Okay, that didn’t quite kill it as fast as I’d hoped,” Zoe managed, picking herself up. There was a thick and oozing green liquid coming from him. Blood?

She felt a sharp stinging on her arm and she rolled up her sleeve. There were ten heart-shaped symbols on her arm and, as she watched, one of them disappeared painfully. She furrowed her eyebrows, confused. The green liquid from the rat man plopped down to the floor and sizzled against it. “Don’t get its blood on you! It’s the same thing from the arrows!”

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Lizzie caught the arrow in her free hand, and quickly transferred the poison to the tip of her own sword. She watched with caution, as Zoe stabbed the rat man in the side with her sword. It didn’t seem to have done much harm, but he did let out a ear piercing roar. If this guy wasn’t focused on killing people, he could have been one heck of an opera singer. She quickly picked up a rock and threw it at the rat mans head to change his focus on her, instead of Zoe.

Immediately she regretted her decision in tactics as it swiveled its head in her direction, letting out a quite annoyed huff. It bared its teeth, in something that resembled a twisted grin. She quickly lounged out at the monster, stabbing its other side and jumping out of the way just in time to miss one of its claws from splitting her in two. She quietly swore when Zoe told her about the rat man’s blood. Great poison blood to match his charming personality. Lizzie looked around the small room, trying come up with some sort of plan. She guessed that Zoe was hurt in some way, being thrown against a wall and all. And even if she was okay, she didn’t have her sword anymore. So that left her with only one option, she had to finish off this rat guy herself. Which didn’t seem too difficult, I mean she had a sword and all he had was poison blood razer sharp claws, and dagger sized teeth…. Easy peasy.

She bent her knees slightly and lounged forward at the rat man again, this time stabbing him just below the shoulder. Before he had time to return the blow, Lizzie rolled to the side jumping right back on her feet and stabbing him in the arm. The Rat man let out a frustrated roar slashing out at Lizzie, she ducked just in time for it to cut into the brick above her head. She shivered to think what that might of done to her body. Before it had time to unstuck his claws, she shoved her sword between his rib cage putting all of her weight and strength into the blow. The beast let out a roar of pain, slashing out with his free hand.. Er paw… um claw? Whatever it was slammed into Elizabeth, sending her sprawling on the floor. Luckily her sword stayed behind, still lodged in the rat mans body, and with one last roar of agony the rat man collapsed unmoving.

Lizzie slowly sat up admiring her work. Not bad for an internet nerd. She turned her head to Zoe, “You get the next challenge.”

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Zoe rolled her eyes at the girl’s words. “Yeah, sure. Anyway, pull up your sleeves. Do you have these same symbols?” she asked, pointing at the nine remaining hearts tattooed into her skin. “I didn’t have them before,” she said sternly, just in case it wasn’t clear that Zoe Heriot did not do tattoos. She watched as the rat man’s body withered away, eventually disappearing and leaving… two bags. Zoe stared at them, then back to Lizzie, then to the bags. Really? Zoe picked up her sword, opening one of the bags with the tip of her blade in case something jumped out at her. Deciding it was safe, she crouched down and rifled through the contents. “Bandages, purple liquid, and… coins. Maybe there’s a vending machine around here.”

She left the bag alone for now and looked around the room. She hadn’t had a chance to investigate the doors yet. W1 was a thick iron door that looked to slide. She wasn’t sure that she was strong enough to lift it – if Lizzie wanted to go through there, she’d have to help her. W2 seemed like a normal wooden door. Innocent enough. And then there was the way they had gone through. They could always try to go through another door there, she supposed. Her eyes scanned the rest of the room critically. There was a large stone demonic face that jutted from the wall and a tapestry, both on the east side. She edged closer to the demonic face, crawling inside of the mouth. “Hey!”

Shortly after her call for attention, a treasure chest was shoved out of the mouth, clattering to the floor and breaking open. “There’s a door here, but…” There was a loud crack and a mischievous cackle. “Nevermind, got it. I don’t thin—oof!” There was a loud thump, and then scampering noises along the walls before Zoe emerged from behind the tapestry. “Nothing back there,” she said, pulling cobwebs out of her hair and crossing over to the treasure chest. Two huge backpacks fell out. She picked it up, tossing it experimentally. It weighed almost nothing. She opened it, pulling out a… lockpick? Matches, a few apples and carrots, and more bandages and vials of the purple liquid. “What do you think it is?” she asked Lizzie curiously, deciding that she’d try it out on something later. She pulled the bag from earlier in the backpack and put it on her back. Despite the added weight, it still didn’t feel like much.

“Come on, let’s try W2. Unless you want to go back, or W1. We know there aren’t any monsters where we came from.”

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Lizzie pulled up her sleeve to reveal ten hearts shaped tattoos. She was pretty sure those weren't there before. She furrowed her brows in confusion. Maybe they represented lives, like the little hearts you got in Legend of Zelda. If so then Zoe was already short one life. She rubbed her arm to see if they would come off, nope they were real. "Maybe they represent the lives we get in the dungeon. Kind of like a giant video game, just less fun and more dangerous." Lizzie picked up her sword, and went over to inspect the backpacks with Zoe. "I doubt there's' a vending machine down here, what kind of monster eats Doritos instead of humans?" 

She rummaged through her own bag, it had pretty much the same contents as Zoe's bag, except for some rolled up scrolls on the bottom.  She took one out, curiously unrolling to inspect its contents. It was blank. Blank parchment, what was she supposed to do with this? Write a poem? That was sure going to help against any other baddies they might find here. She stuffed the parchment back in her bag, and turned around just in time to watch the treasure chest nearly squash her. "Careful!" Lizzie crouched next to the chest, watching Zoe emerge from the would be secret entrance. "Thats a nice look for you, it really brings out your eyes." She smiled teasingly. She turned her attention to the contents of the chest. More bags. Well at least they'll never be without storage.

She picked up a vial of the purple liquid, turning it over in her hands. "Maybe its a health potion. Either that or poison." She was rooting for the health potion bit, instead of the poison. If either of them got seriously injured, or ran out of hearts they could drink one of these. If not, well at least they had some pretty liquid stuff. She stuffed the contents from the earlier bags, into her new back pack and pulled it on her back. She'd check the contents of hers later, it was probably the same anyway. She picked up her sword, and put in the opening of her back pack, tieing it off so it would stay in place. That would do for now. 

"W2. Its better to keep going forward, instead of backward." She went over to the simple wooden door, and pulled it open peeking inside. It seemed safe enough, no monsters, or eerie looking shadows. Of course that probably meant that there was something terrible waiting for them inside. But maybe they'd get lucky and find a ice cream truck, or vending machine. She could go for some ice cream right now. Looking back at Zoe, she plunged ahead.

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“A giant video game?” Zoe asked crossly. She never played video games, even when the others around her had been trying. Later they would develop educational games meant for more serious people like herself were, the training games for the theoretical engineering students. She quite preferred to read and solve equations. “Why would a game give you money if there were no way to spend it?” she pointed out.

Zoe rolled her eyes at Lizzie’s teasing. Why would there be a secret passage without any secrets in it? This entire game – or the dungeon itself – wasn’t making sense. Money without a way to spend it, secret passages that led to nowhere? She’d quite like to have a swing at whomever was responsible for this. She looked over at the vial and shrugged. She’d rather not get anyone hurt to find out. She’d been to enough safety classes to know not to drink unidentified liquid. Especially strange-colored liquid that bubbled.

“If you say so,” Zoe replied, following Lizzie into the empty room. There was another chest, but a hard kick at it made it open. The only thing inside was a few cobwebs and a couple of gold coins. She sighed and shook her head, moving forward. She stumbled over something and barely had time to roll out of the way before a row of sharp knives fell where she had just fallen. “I’m getting quite annoyed with these traps,” she muttered.

Still, at least it was only knives. She picked up one, noting it had the same poison on it that had been inside the creature and on the arrows. “Perhaps it’s not a healing potion at all, but an antidote?” she suggested, picking herself up and brushing the dirt off. The line that she had tripped over had made a tapestry fall down, revealing a long corridor. With snarls echoing down it. And the shadows of at least three dogs. Or wolves. Probably wolves, given the overall tone of the dungeon, Zoe reasoned.

“Run?”