New Perspective (Sarah Jane)

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The Doctor had been waiting for almost an hour, waiting for a dear friend of his to return home. Thirteen Bannerman Road. He let out a soft sigh as he leaned against the siding, wondering if he should skip ahead a few minutes or something. As he ran his long fingers through that fluffed up brown mess that one calls hair. Only to glance up at the sky.

The clouds seemed dark, and they were beginning to hide the Sun's rays. The Doctor sniffed at the air once, and the look of forlorn quickly made it's way onto his face. He was getting rather impatient, and perhaps just a tiny bit anxious. So many things had happened within a short space of time, he didn't quite know how to deal with the events in question.

And thus, those events had led him back to Sarah Jane Smith. In hopes that perhaps, maybe.. Just maybe, she might be able to provide the missing piece he just so needed in order to complete the puzzle he had created.

When the rain started to fall down, the Doctor couldn't help but chuckled slightly. He straightened up, pushing himself off the side of her building, as she pulled into her drive. He gave her a sheepish grin, and a small wave, he really hadn't giving her any heads up that he was going to visit. "Surprise."

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The interview had gone well. He'd never realized how skeptical she was of his explanations of his company's sudden recovery and apparent booming sucsess.  She susupected that he was exploiting some sort of Alien technology to keep his costs down.  He'd squirmed at all the right times to confirm her suspicians.   She hadn't been able to scan any alien technology energies with her detector watch, but it had a rather limited range.  She had indeed noticed the locked floors in the elevator, but she would be back another day to explore that direction.  Perhaps tonight, but she'd have tea first.

Someone standing on her walk when she pulled up.  Her hands went a bit numb, and she stopped breathing as she turned off the car.  The growing rain washed away detail as the wipers stopped, but she'd seen him for an instant.

The Doctor was standing in the rain, leaning on her home.  Waiting.

Confused, happy, she got out of the car, standing stunned with the door open, its crux between them, not bothering with her umbrella.  Who cared about rain when the sky might be falling?  She broke into a wet smile anyway.

"Hi." She went to step toward him, realized the door was in the way and came around it, shutting it with a thump and looking back to him, walking toward him. "Hi."

Her heart was banging in her chest for a variety of reasons.

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The Doctor smiled at her, how long had it been? For him, far too long... For her, he couldn't say. Still it was good to see her, it was really good to see her. "Hello Sarah Jane," He greeted softly, "It's good to see you again."

He was nervous, not about seeing her again. No. He loved visiting Sarah Jane, not that he did it that often. The nervousness was more for what he wanted to talk to her about. The Doctor opened his arms to offer a hug, hoping she might accept. "It's been far too long.. Hasn't it?"

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She was stunned right up until he opened his arms.  Now she knew what to do.  The Bannerman street gang had softened her, and she dare say Rose had softened him.  A slim flash of a woman in black leather, dark blue denim and fine white linen, she opened her arms in return and strode into his.  She tucked her face down against his collar to smell him, then closed her arms even tighter as she put her chin on his shoulder.

Whole and hale.  Something she hoped he was before she went to bed.  She wasn't one much for praying, but for this, perhaps, she prayed.

"It's never too long." She whispered in his ear in absolution and welcome.  This, she had come to terms with.

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The Doctor held her tightly to him, gently picking her up and spun around once, before setting her back on the ground. He couldn't help the grin that grew on his face, as she whispered in his ear. “I’m glad you think so.” The Doctor let her go, and smiled down at her. “Well… You look well.” His attempt at small talk wasn't exactly the best, but then again… He wasn't entirely prepared for what he had planned to tell her.

“Sorry.” He said quickly, and then made a motion to where his TARDIS had decided to park itself, somewhere on some flower beds. “The ol’ girl sort of had a crash landing… Well… Sort of, in any case.” He paused as he ran his hand through his slightly wet hair, “Perhaps we should get out of the rain, can't have you catching hypothermia or something like that.”

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He felt like no one else in her arms.  He often felt different, but like no one else.  The way they fit together.  The way he swept her up, and how she trusted him to lift her off her feet.  She did not encourage such familiar behavior with anyone else.   The enthusiasm of his greeting untied the little knot she sometimes carried in her chest.  She wondered sometimes if time would ever weather away at the pillar of their friendship.   No. It never did.  Her heart was fluttering with excitement in her chest.

"You're hard on flowers." She said, smiling anyway and shaking her head.

"Well, get Rose and bring her in, I'll get her some real tea."

Food could be haphazard in the TARDIS, and eating out an adventure.  She'd make cucumber sandwiches.

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His hearts nearly stopped when Sarah Jane mentioned Rose, the smile on his face dropped almost immediately. That’s right… She didn’t know; how could she? It wasn’t like he come around to visit occasionally, and he hardly ever mentioned the past. After all, what could he change?

“Actually… About Rose…” The Doctor paused as he followed Sarah Jane into her house, “Well…” It was hard for him to explain, it hurt to explain. “I lost her, in a way.” To another universe in fact, but perhaps it was easier to talk about it this way? No, not really, and he was sure she would see that in his eyes or on his face. She usually did.

“A lot has happened since the school, well… at least for me.” He mentioned, “Do you need any help; a cabinet that needs to be made up, or anything like that?” The Doctor gave a soft smile as he took in the layout of her house.

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His face turned off.  He put on that fake one he used when he was hiding something.  He didn't show it often, not to her, but she'd learned to recognize it.  His next words were her greatest dread for him in that moment.  It was exactly what she hoped he would not say.

“Actually… About Rose…”

She turned to lead him into the house, sparing him the look on her face. It would not help him.  She tugged him by the sleeve to her door, glancing at him as she slipped her key in, having managed to school her features somewhat.   She could not imagine a situation under which she would not be pleased to see him.  Even this.  Even the end of the world.   She expected that if that day ever came, they would be standing, fighting, side by side.  She smiled at him as she twisted the key in the door and let them in.

It was Sarah Jane flavored with chaos.  Clearly, she was in the middle of something.  Print outs.  Maps.  Strings thumb tacked from here to there.  This was all pinned up on the walls and spilling on to the table below.  A tea cup or two.  A crossword puzzle in ink nearly finished.  Trinkets and bits she'd picked up over her travels, no few of which he may recognize.  More papers took up half the coffee table, and there were a stack of binders beside them. "Ruthford Mining Co. : Clearance X Only : Do Not Remove From Records".  Clean. Cluttered.  Warm.

“Well…I lost her, in a way.”

 His voice took on that tone that said ' . . its almost funny  . . .that . .' even though it wasn't.  Protecting her again, it seemed from his own pain.  She gave him a moment with it, taking off her own dripping coat, then reaching for his.  There eyes met.  It seemed there was much to speak of.  She was bracing herself, he deserved that from her.  There were no tears in her eyes, but her voice throbbed with her worry for Rose. For Rose and the Doctor.

"Oh . . .Rose."  Her affection as well was clear.

“A lot has happened since the school, well… at least for me.”

There were so many ways to reply to that, but she felt like someone diffusing a bomb, trying to pick between the red wire or the blue.  Her mouth worked for a moment and nothing came out.

 “Do you need any help; a cabinet that needs to be made up, or anything like that?”

Thank goodness.  All she'd needed was a straight line.  Then she knew what to say. A smile grew slowly on her face.

"First high cabinet to the left of the icebox.  It's about one point nine two liters to heavy.  Why don't you go see what's wrong with it, Doctor.  I'll start a fire."

1.92 liters being the exact weight, including the bottle itself, of the Whisky they'd gotten from that time they saved the Ernest Shackleton Expedition up in the Antarctic all those years ago.  She'd been waiting for a reason like this to crack it open. 

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She didn't ask what happened, or questioned why he was trying to avoid the subject… Instead she went along with the subject change he came up with. She gave him something to do with a cabinet, but instead of fixing a creaky door, or putting one together, all he had to do was make it lighter. It was confusing, up to when he opened the high cabinet and saw what was inside.

The Doctor smiled as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey out from the cupboard, and brought into the sitting room. “I cannot believe you still have this,” He said with an amused tone, “Then again, I suppose I never do know what to expect with you, Sarah Jane.” He meant that in the nicest way possible, and he hoped that she knew that, as he set it down on a side table.

“Where do you keep the glasses?” He asked, as he watched the fire crack against the wood. He returned to the kitchen a moment later to retrieve the glasses, handing one to Sarah Jane before taking a seat close to the heat of the fire. “There is a lot I have to tell you… Some of which I only found out recently, and some that I just need to talk about, and some which I can't say since it hasn't happened for you yet.” He sighed before looking into her hazel eyes, this was going to be a long night.

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“Then again, I suppose I never do know what to expect with you, Sarah Jane.”

"Nor I you, Doctor." Oh, she tried to hold it together, to be witty and light.  To give him time.  She could not keep the judgement fully from her voice, however.  In regret, she gave a little tilt of her head to say whatever she thought, she was ready to listen.  And happy to see him.

By the time the Doctor returned with glasses, the fire was catching from tinder to branch, and she was on the white wool carpet, her back resting on a chair and her stockinged feet stretched out by the fire.  She took her glass from him, watching, waiting for him to settle.  Listening, for he began to speak with a candor that surprised her.  She did not know what he was looking for in her eyes, but she hoped he found it.

A double dozen questions leapt to mind.  For once, she held them back.  She was not ready, perhaps to see all the way behind the curtain.  They may have to pull it back little by little to keep it from hurting either of them too much.

"It's just you and I here.  This is your home." Or at least the closest he had outside the TARDIS she'd bet. 

There was one question she just had to ask, her gaze finding solace in the flames, afraid to see his face when she asked.

"Lost.  You do mean lost, Doctor? Not dead."  Her voice thrummed low with constraint.

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“Hm?” he murmured as he set his glass down on the coffee table, and reached for the bottle as Sarah Jane’s question about Rose registered in his head. “Dead? No, no Rose… Rose isn’t dead…” The Doctor paused as he worked on opening up the whiskey bottle. “Well, not exactly; she’s listed as dead in this universe… that’s all.” He offered the whiskey to Sarah first before pouring himself a bit. To be honest, he was still contemplating if he should allow the alcohol to affect him or not. “And since there’s no more Gallifrey… there’s no way for her to make her way back here.”

The Doctor sighed softly, before continuing. “However, that was… I don’t even know how long ago.” Lie, he was lying and he felt awful for doing it; he knew how long it had been since Rose had been lost. Approximately, it had been three years, seven months, twenty-two days and three hours since he had lost Rose. He took a sip from the glass, “I think I’m starting to come to terms with that…” Another lie; he knew he didn’t mean that, he never really truly could come to terms with anyone’s death; or in this case, being stuck permanently in an parallel universe; and now he seemed to just be lying to himself. The Doctor took a long sip from his glass of whiskey, turning his eyes over to Sarah Jane.

“Sarah Jane..” He started, debating if this was what he should be doing or not. “I… I don’t know what to do.” The Doctor admitted finally, “I mean I didn’t think it would happen, after all Timelords are gone, or at least they should have been. And it just doesn’t make any sense, not a bit of sense!” He set the glass back onto the table before slouching back in the chair; running his hands through his messy hair and down his face. “It just… She was there, and it was cold… I didn’t know how long she had been… and.” The Doctor was talking at a very quick pace, mumbling certain; important; details just below audible range, all the while trying to tell Sarah Jane what he meant to say several minutes ago. “I… I have a daughter, but I don’t remember… I couldn’t have… She’s full timelord. Sort of, I mean there’s a glitch or something. But the DNA is there, and it’s… I’m so confused.” With another sigh and a his best attempt at the ‘pity-me-puppy-dog-pout,’ he admitted. “I don’t know what to do, Sarah Jane.”

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Her gaze kept it's refuge in the fire as he spoke.   The fear she hid the most, even from herself, was that one day he wouldn't come soon enough.  That she would die in some mad adventure.    Sadly, she realized her bitterness stemmed in the idea of dying alone.  She wouldn't mind so much if they died together.  It was unfair to share that dark thought with him, however, for he always had come in time.  She was living proof of that.  When he explained about Rose, some tight knot in her let go.  She was worried about him, but she was no longer potentially angry with him.

She gave him the privacy of his lies as well.

It was her own name that turned her around, and the way he'd said it.  When he broke, she didn't even make it to her side of the couch and sat on the coffee table across from him.  She slid her glass out of the way smoothy as she took her seat there, needing to see into his eyes.

He was stammering with pain.  It took her aback.

She knew every word he said was important, even if it sounded like he was gently raving.  It was talk of a daughter that made the stars fall out of his eyes, leaving only the dark there.

" -----but the DNA is there, and it’s… I’m so confused."

"-------------------------------------   Shhhhhhh Shhhhhh" She shushed him.

"I don’t know what to do, Sarah Jane.”

"Shhhhh shh." She hushed him with a small move of her hand.

"Doctor."  She looked as deep into his eyes as she could get.  She spoke slowly, her voice low. "Time keeps everything from happening all at once. "  She held his eyes, a smile growing on her face because no matter what, it was very good to see him.

"Tonight we have plenty of time." Her eyes flickered up to her attic, thinking of Mr.Smith who sometimes felt like a problem child, since he was the one who often alerted her about trouble. "It's quiet, and I couldn't be more pleased to see you."  She'd put his whiskey in his hand with both of hers, then swept up her own glass.  She tossed back about a third of it.  She'd need it.