Her Inner Child
Nov 6, 2020 4:25:29 GMT -5
Post by Thirteenth Doctor on Nov 6, 2020 4:25:29 GMT -5
Was Yaz really hinting down a road that she'd not thought of in ages? Was that a knot in her own stomach forming? Not because of bad feelings, but because of just sheer potential anticipation and knowledge of what Yaz could have even been subtly implying. No, that couldn't be it. Not that, that wasn't the first ever time that sort of feeling or hinting hadn't come up before. Because it sure had. But somehow this was different. But why did it have to be different? Why was when someone else pointed out such things, it was fine and could be just brushed off for a later thought. But when it came to the exact person that was involved in such thoughts bringing it up, it seemed to send The Doctor into some sort of blank faced, deer in headlights, stomach knotting, bells and whistles going off in ones head while mental self ran about flailing it seemed sort of panic state. While her outer features tried to hold their cool. There was a part of her that didn't really know what to think let alone do about it.
If Yaz was implying that exact thing, well that was going to be some sort of very awkward conversation. She'd never knew what it would be like to feel feelings of any sort like that in a different gender, this was her first time behind that wheel. It was like driving a new car, if ones used to stick shift, it's very difficult to get used to automatic. So how would she even remotely approach such a topic? It wasn't like she'd gotten girl advice on that one. She'd been so used to the opposing sex of humanoid appearance. So seeing the other side was quite different. Granted she'd said before, sex orientation meant little to Gallifreyans, but when changing ones own, that could be a little more awkward because it was more getting down the right ideas and isms of self than it being outright rejecting.
However, there was a certain curtain The Doctor found herself able to hide behind a bit in avoiding the true answer to this awkward talk. Yaz had pointed out the things that had been implanted into each of them. Could that have given them a closer connection...eh probably not.The Doctor knew that if she said yes, to try and evade things, she'd be lying. If she told the truth that it wouldn't though, all it would mean is they'd be back to square one of the conversation and it focusing on that. Sadly though she couldn't tell a lie on that one.
"No of course not, that's rubbish. Those things were clearly dna bombs." she then remembered the other things though from the one planet when they were dealing with the ghost monument, her TARDIS. "Now maybe...maybe those other things on Desolation, those migh' have. So there is a sligh' chance. But...then again their migh' not. Dunno."
She wasn't being very helpful at that second. She just was trying her hardest to tiptoe the subject of what was really crossing her mind, and that was the "deep feels" question. The one that she'd had only for a small few people in her life. Most of which were either lost or dead. Yet, could she deny herself, whatever true feelings she had maybe been feeling? No, that would be absurd, however, as The Doctor she would try. And probably eventually fail, but hopefully right now would not be that time.
"Your special enough to me Yaz, no matter whatever insecurities you migh' be thinkin'." she stated honestly. If that wasn't close enough fo a slight admission in Doctorese then who knew what would be. Saying things for her was hard enough most regens, but this one seemed to have it extra difficult. Perhaps from all she'd lost the past few regens. She wanted to keep the ones she had now as long as possible and as safe as possible.
If Yaz was implying that exact thing, well that was going to be some sort of very awkward conversation. She'd never knew what it would be like to feel feelings of any sort like that in a different gender, this was her first time behind that wheel. It was like driving a new car, if ones used to stick shift, it's very difficult to get used to automatic. So how would she even remotely approach such a topic? It wasn't like she'd gotten girl advice on that one. She'd been so used to the opposing sex of humanoid appearance. So seeing the other side was quite different. Granted she'd said before, sex orientation meant little to Gallifreyans, but when changing ones own, that could be a little more awkward because it was more getting down the right ideas and isms of self than it being outright rejecting.
However, there was a certain curtain The Doctor found herself able to hide behind a bit in avoiding the true answer to this awkward talk. Yaz had pointed out the things that had been implanted into each of them. Could that have given them a closer connection...eh probably not.The Doctor knew that if she said yes, to try and evade things, she'd be lying. If she told the truth that it wouldn't though, all it would mean is they'd be back to square one of the conversation and it focusing on that. Sadly though she couldn't tell a lie on that one.
"No of course not, that's rubbish. Those things were clearly dna bombs." she then remembered the other things though from the one planet when they were dealing with the ghost monument, her TARDIS. "Now maybe...maybe those other things on Desolation, those migh' have. So there is a sligh' chance. But...then again their migh' not. Dunno."
She wasn't being very helpful at that second. She just was trying her hardest to tiptoe the subject of what was really crossing her mind, and that was the "deep feels" question. The one that she'd had only for a small few people in her life. Most of which were either lost or dead. Yet, could she deny herself, whatever true feelings she had maybe been feeling? No, that would be absurd, however, as The Doctor she would try. And probably eventually fail, but hopefully right now would not be that time.
"Your special enough to me Yaz, no matter whatever insecurities you migh' be thinkin'." she stated honestly. If that wasn't close enough fo a slight admission in Doctorese then who knew what would be. Saying things for her was hard enough most regens, but this one seemed to have it extra difficult. Perhaps from all she'd lost the past few regens. She wanted to keep the ones she had now as long as possible and as safe as possible.
