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She couldn't formulate any more words to explain herself. To explain that she was afraid of traveling with him forever, simply because whenever 'forever' was on the table something inevitably happened. True, Emilie knew that her mother would likely do her best to help, but failing all other things, Emilie had not really lived long enough to tell if she aged or not. And if she did? What happened then?
They'd only be hurting each other.
Logic rarely lasts long in the presence of such high emotions. So it is little surprise then, even to Emilie, when her thoughts were immediately derailed by the Doctor pulling her in closer. She'd looked up slightly in confusion, and then... he was kissing her.
It was a familiar feeling, but quite different all the same. The last time she had kissed 'this' him, he'd had John Smith, vet tech extraordinaire's memories swimming in his head.
Just like before, just like always, she returned his kiss. No matter what logic said, she couldn't deny her feelings for him.
The Doctor sometimes didn't think. He was a man of emotion always, but usually, he was pretty good at holding them back. Not today, not after she started to kiss him back. So, he held her close. For once, he couldn't, wouldn't hold himself back from this. It meant something to him, and apparently her as well.
Sometimes good things had to come to an end though. The Doctor pulled back, looking at Emilie. He wanted that smile now. She'd given him something far nicer now, but he was feeling greedy.
"You'll come with me?" He asked, he knew the answer, but he wanted her to say it, make it so. The Doctor reached and found Emilie's hand, holding it. The TARDIS was right behind him, all he needed was a yes, and they were off to see the Universe again.
Rod and Eye, how could she tell him no after that? Emilie couldn't pretend for a single moment that she did not want to explore this side of her Doctor. And when it came down to it? She knew that traveling with him in the TARDIS was where she belonged. It was her home.
The Doctor waited with baited breath as Emilie looked at him. This had to be the longest string of seconds he'd ever felt, watching her weigh her options, deciding whether she'd come with him or not. Slowly, she opened her mouth, and the words came out, he almost couldn't handle it.
"For as long as I can, my Doctor."
The Doctor kissed Emilie's forehead and grinned wildly, "Come on then Emilie! No need to pack a bag, all of your stuff you'd left behind is still there. Let's go!" He wasn't sure what the rush was, but The Doctor didn't want Emilie to leave him for a moment.
Every moment they stayed was a moment for her to change her mind.
“Hold up,” she laughed a little at the Doctor’s insistence. For some reason, he didn’t seem willing to wait a moment.
Not that she was surprised. He always loved running.
“On the contrary, I do need to let UNIT know that I may be incommunicado for a time, and I can’t guarantee what age I’ll be when I return either, hmn?”
Emilie let him know to slow down, The Doctor felt just a moment's worry, but it hadn't seemed like Emilie had decided going was against what was best for her.
No, just worry over UNIT. She made a good point.
The Doctor nodded and said, "You out to call Commander Stewart then. Or, is she not Commander yet? I'm not exactly sure of the year."
Holding up a finger that indicated he should be quiet for just a moment, Emilie pulled out a new shiny red cell phone. Precisely the same color of her old coat, the one she had left behind in her room on the TARDIS along with so many of her memories.
A few brief taps, and Emilie walked a little ways over to confer with the officer who answered. She was not gone overly long, a few minutes was all she took to argue her case, then she returned with an artful shrug as she grinned up to the Doctor.
"I believe I, in effect, just announced I was going on holiday because my prince had come."
The Doctor's smile returned when Emilie returned to him with the same expression. They were good as gold at the moment. It felt so, rawr and powerful. They'd finally caught each other at the right time. He'd been waiting to properly know Emilie before he came here.
Know, he knew her, she knew, well, all of him, and there weren't anymore pre-happened events for either. Unless you counted The Valeyard, which honestly he didn't. So, with the whole future ahead of them, The Doctor couldn't do anything but smile.
He wrapped himself around her after she told him she was on leave. The Doctor leaned in, he offered the ghost of a second kiss before leaning in closer to her ear, "I love you, Emilie Gunnar."
She shivered a little at his proximity, new and familiar as it was. There were still nagging thoughts in her head about whether this was a good idea or not, but over the time Emilie had spent with the Tenth Doctor she had slowly learned what to call those thoughts.
Fear. Plain, simple, and certainly perfectly natural.
The Doctor had never compelled her to do anything she had not wanted to, after all. Well, not unless it was to save her life, perhaps, and that didn't really count in Emilie's book.
Besides, she wanted to be with him, her Doctor, for as long as he would have her.
And when he turned back her farewell to his past self and returned the sentiment, Emilie tilted her head slightly to kiss his jaw in return.
She kissed him. Boy, he really needed to get used to saying that again. When he'd been dying, she told him that she loved him, and he smiled and headed off to regenerate above the Earth. The very next time he saw her, she was half a minute old, almost completely unaware of life itself.
There were so many ups and downs, shot across time itself from one end to the other, creatures met and creatures fought. Her meeting each of him, then leaving, and now, coming with him again. Really, he didn't want to let go of her hand ever again.
Now they had a Universe to explore together, every experience would be new for the both of them, almost a clean slate, only, they got to start right in the middle of the very first part. Was there anything better than being in love?
As someone who was old enough to have fallen in real, true love a few times, The Doctor didn't think that there was a better feeling in all of creation.
"You know," The Doctor started, "There's so much to see and do across the Universe, and it'll never end, but, right now, I don't want to be anywhere other than right here." He paused, "I think that's new."
Emilie might not be very old or even very experienced, particularly when it came to affairs of the heart. Aside from a relatively short time with Rassilon, the only man she had ever been interested in was the Doctor. Oh, different faces at different times, to be sure, but it was always him.
At first, Emilie had rebelled against her attraction to him especially when just how young she was had surfaced.
Then the Doctor had swept Emilie off her feet yet again, and at this point, she was beginning to learn how to just enjoy the ride. And why not? She did love him. Emilie knew that she was not alone in that, just as she was not the only one the Doctor loved. He had and would live a very long time, so that was as it should be Emilie suspected.
"Then just be right here," Emilie offered quietly. "Just you and me, Doctor."
Well, and the TARDIS, but that went without saying.
The Doctor hadn't even thought of where to go if he had even wanted to go anywhere, but in a move so unlike him, he was standing still, letting time pass as he and Emilie stood against each other, just enjoying being with each other. And, after so long, so many different relationships, this one was quite different.
The Doctor didn't think that Emilie would age as normal people did, and she certainly hadn't changed very much from the day he'd met her. Maybe the odd haircut, but no profound changes for sure.
Eventually though, as all good things did eventually end, The Doctor felt it was time to at least move, one half step back and a big, content grin after, The Doctor spoke up, "And so, Emilie, one more thing before we go. There's one thing I have to tell you, and I'm only allowed to say it once, so pay close attention, alright?"
His personal rule for this, the only way he was allowed to say this to someone, he'd explained it once before and now he'd do it again. A very select few knew it, and fewer of them could actually say it. The Doctor leaned back in close to her ear and spoke.
It wasn't a word, and it certainly wasn't anything of human origin, the TARDIS couldn't even translate it if she tried. When he pulled back, The Doctor smiled, "Because, it was time that I told that to you. Now, Emilie, where should we go? Any place, any time."
Ah, so they were going then. Well now, that was alright. The Doctor might go mad if he had to stay still too long, and given that he already was brilliantly madcap already they were treading a fine enough line as it was.
He was being serious now though, so Emilie listened.
Because she would always listen to him.
He spoke a single word, though it was a complicated one. No, not a word. A name.
Emilie knew without asking that it was his, just as she knew how very precious a gift he had just given her, even if she did not know the full story as to why he kept it so deeply hidden.
He... the Doctor, she knew to keep calling him that as well... had trusted her enough to tell her.
The Doctor just smiled, knowing that Emilie would guard his secret as close as he did. He trusted her so completely, she wouldn't let him down. Not only that, but, she deserved to know his name, perhaps more than anyone else who knew it.
When Emilie agreed that they should get out of here, he grinned, finding her hand and wrapping his own into her palm. And off they wandered, back to the TARDIS. The Doctor looked to her and gave her a quick heads up before they entered.
"It looks a bit different than it had when you were with me last Emilie," He didn't want her to get upset by the inevitable changes the TARDIS would go through over the next few lifetimes when Emilie stayed with him. For once, he was planning that far ahead.
"We'll pick a place after you've had a look around."
Emilie was almost sad that she did not have an equal secret to share with the Doctor in turn. But then, he had already discovered her deepest secret ten years ago, hadn't he?
The secret of what she was.
But then, Emilie still had a lifetime to discover who she was, and the Doctor would be right there with her every step of the way. Just like always.
Like it should be.
Interlacing their fingers, Emilie let the Doctor lead her back to the TARDIS. It was time to see her mother again. She nodded in respons to his warning, thn entered shortly after.
And the dress was most definitely different.Somewhat remniscent of the younger Doctors, but altogether new in other ways. Admittedly, it was a bit of a shock to the system after having grown so accustomed to the Tenth Doctor's TARDIS, but she certainly wasn't going to hold that against this one.
It was just going to take a bit of getting used to, just like seeing the face of her Thief again was.
Force of habit or a bit of ritual found Emilie greeting the console before she even considered heading towards the living quarters. Some of the controls looked familiar, but not all of them. Perhaps that was a cue to let the Doctor take the reins for a while, or perhaps it was just a challenge to see how quick she could catch on.
"Oh, speaking of a look round, Doctor," Emilie turned back to face him. "Where's my room gone off to?"
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