Help! I'm Alive! - Tomaz

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When Maggie had said her fond farewell to Rio, it had been harder on her than she anticipated. From the moment Rio stepped into Maria's TARDIS, she felt a loneliness and loss that she couldn't wrap her mind around. Since she was nineteen, it had been just the two of them, walking across countries, running from the authorities, sleeping under the stars, and discovering the wonders that the world had to offer. It had been an adventure for Maggie. A Game. She never knew why Rio always had to be on the move, but she never asked, either. It had been fun.

It was the heroine that had made things difficult. While sober and lucid, Maggie could see how the drugs were eating away at her best friend. He had become thin, paler than usual, and always trembling, scratching at his arms, craving his next fix. The drugs were slowly killing him. And if they were killing him, she realized that she couldn't have been fairing much better.

She never regretted her choice to try the drugs. Maggie had been curious and wanted to know. And while she didn’t remember much of anything about her first few highs, the one constant that she remembered was that she felt amazing. That was what had hooked her onto the heroine. Feelings of bliss and contentment with her best friend. It was when the drugs wore off that she felt horrible. Her head would throb, she felt sick to her stomach and couldn't stand to eat, and her body always felt sore and stiff. It had to stop...

She'd been so proud of herself. She'd been able to resist the itch, the urge to use when Rio was with her. She'd been the solid foundation by his side that helped him to kick the habit. He in turn, had done the same for her. And it hadn't been easy for either of them. They had fought through the painful process of withdrawal together. They had made the promise that they'd never touch the drugs again. Rio had broken the syringe and burned the kit and remaining drugs. That was over three years ago, now. Maggie hadn't been able to keep her promise to Rio to stay clean. And she hated herself for breaking that promise.

She sat beside a dumpster, huddled beside an old oil barrel full of trash that she'd managed to set fire to, trying to keep warm. She held her trembling hands to the heat and stared intently at the flickering orange glow. Her arms itched and her legs kept shifting uncomfortably. It had been almost ten days since she'd gotten high and she was starting to feel the pain of withdrawal creeping up on her. She wasn't strong enough to deal with the pain. Not alone.

She glanced down the alleyway she had holed herself into and whimpered. She then looked to the broken Vortex Manipulator in her bag. She wasn't sure why it stopped working but.. it wasn't recharging anymore. And she didn’t know what to do to fix it. It had been her intention to skip ahead by three years and meet up with Rio when he left Maria so they could pick up where they left off and return to their adventures. But, now she was stuck, not sure where she was, afraid and alone and not sure who to turn to. If it was one thing that she learned traveling with Rio, it was that she shouldn't trust anyone.

She licked her lips and stared down once more at her trembling hands. She was hurting and she only had two options. Lay there in agony for several hours as her body screamed for the drugs and allow herself to come clean of the drugs.... Or give herself a dose and ride out another night in the cold, not caring about the world around her. She took out the kit she had gotten for herself and looked at the small nearly empty bag of white crystallized powder. She mused to herself how she'd gotten it. Thanks to Rio, she'd gotten pretty good at picking pockets and being quick on her feet.

She prepared the needle, going through the practiced and perfected method of melting down the drugs on an old spoon and loading the hot liquid into the syringe. She rolled up her sleeve and looked at the inside of her arm. It was still lightly bruised from her last injection and was riddled with needle scars. She sniffed softly as the resisted the urge to cry. Rio would be so upset with her for breaking her promise. She slowly placed the sharp point against her vein and hesitated. Her hands were trembling. She bit her lip harshly, teeth breaking the skin and causing her lip to bleed, trying to steady her hands, forcing the needle in. She whimpered in pain as the hot drug was forced into her system. And while she wanted to feel good and forget the world around her, all she could do was cry.

”I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry, Rio. I miss you so much. Please, don’t hate me” she sobbed as she curled into a ball, her high taking a rather ugly turn. Rather than feel mellow and blissful, all she could do was cry and reach out for her best friend who wasn't there. “I'm so sorry, Rio.”

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One of the toughest parts of being an observer, Tomaz realized, was the coldness of it all. He watched his son crash and burns hundreds of times and ways. He hadn’t raised him properly, he understood that now. He had done a job to prevent Rio from learning independence in the ways that mattered. And Riocard was notoriously infamous for doing the exact opposite of what people told him to do. And drugs had always been something that Tomaz warned against. It was his fault that Rio didn’t know why it was important not to use them.

After all, Rio had probably just shrugged the warnings off. Money was money, and though Tomaz had never taught his son the importance of it, it was something that Rio had learned himself. Money wasn’t everything, but it made anything a hell of a lot easier. Tomaz was thankful that Rio refused the easy path, or who knew how much drugs he would have transported for the sake of money?

But children had to make their own mistakes. As hard as it was for the man, he silently watched Riocard as he went traipsing through the wilderness as high as you pleased. To the casual observer, it might have been amusing to watch the young Frenchman’s antics, but it was heartbreaking to Tomaz. And still, it worsened as he met Maggie and set about to introducing her to the drugs. It had been awful enough to watch his own child suffer through the effects of addictions. He hadn’t expected it to be amplified when his son hooked someone else’s child.

Tomaz knew from the Phantom – he was an expert information extorter – that it would be soon that Rio was swept up into the life of a Time Lord. He could tell by the way Maggie was acting that she also knew it was soon. Only his son remained blissfully ignorant of the future. He was proud of them for using the obvious respect – and, from what he had accidentally stumbled upon quite a few times, a not-quite-so-obvious-except-when-they-were-high love – they had for each other to their advantage.

He followed her around for a while after Rio slipped into a warehouse after having a rather odd (and yet amusing) encounter with a dog who stole the satchel and the cigarettes from it. Tomaz could immediately tell that she was missing her best friend, but it wasn’t like he could saunter over to her and insist that everyone would be fine. He was just an observer – and it wasn’t like he knew the future so well. He knew that eventually they would marry and have a son and a daughter.

And somehow that daughter would end up in the throes of a demented Time Lord named Reaper and an Ifrit that liked to play God. All right, so that wasn’t particularly something to look forward to. Nonetheless, he was going to have grandchildren. And even if he couldn’t be there while they were being born, he would one day get to meet them…even if he had to pretend to be someone else. He had a legion of aliases at his disposal. He didn’t have to be Tomaz Keâts longer than he needed.

She disappeared while he was following her and he assumed she’d gone on with her life. Or skipped ahead to meet Rio. That gave him who-knew-how-long to explore. Aimlessly. At least he’d had a job protecting his son somewhat. Of course, observers can’t do much but at least he hadn’t been completely helpless. So, he had gone back to France. He had never told his son that they weren’t actually French, but Tomaz figured that Rio was French if he felt French.

He’d been walking past one of the many alleys near Rue La Fayette when he’d heard whimpering. Tomaz was going to dismiss it – after all, it wasn’t an uncommon thing to hear. And yet… it was almost familiar. He’d paused, and then ventured cautiously inside. There was a small person huddled near a dumpster, sobbing. He took a few steps closer to the whimpering and sobbing person, recognizing the bag at her feet before the bundle of a girl calling out for her son.

Tomaz sighed and shook his head, not exactly disappointed with her use of drugs, but disappointed he hadn’t been there earlier to help her. “Come on,” he said, affecting an American English accent. He lifted the small girl up easily. “I’m not going to hurt ya. Trust me.”

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Maggie was more than prepared to curl into a ball and she didn't know if she'd be too upset if she died just then. Over the last three years, Her body became more resistant to the drug. It too more and more just to get a high. The doses she was injecting herself would have killed a horse. Maggie didn't even glow anymore from the injections. She threw the needle at the flaming trash bin in anger before slumping down.

The three years Rio had been gone, she was beginning to feel were the hardest years she'd ever been though. It was why she resumed the drugs. It was her way of coping with being alone since her Vortex Manipulator had stopped working. She whimpered her meek and sob choked apologies to her best friend who wasn't there, fingers clutching at the straps of her bag as she tried to pull it to her.

That was when she felt a shadow looming over her. Was she hallucinating again? She looked blearily up at the looming figured and tried to scurry back and away from him. “Please.. I... I don’t want to die.. Do I?.. Is... Is it time already?”

“Come on,”

Maggie shook her head as she weakly placed her hands up and tried pushing the hands of death away from her. “NO! No, I can't! I.. I dont want to go!” she cried out as he reached for her. She went limp in his arms, too weak and terrified to fight.

“I’m not going to hurt ya. Trust me.”

“I.. I can't. Rio said not to trust anyone...” she argued, somewhat counterproductively as she rested her head against his shoulder, her fingers curling against the fabric of his shirt. “If I die.... If I die, will...... Will I come back? If I don't... Oh God, I don't want to die. I've seen wonderland, Don't make me go back” she whimpered suddenly, a little more fight in her as she remembered the horrors of the last time she had hallucinated so vividly.

Her hand pushed into Tomaz's face as she kicked her legs. “You're not taking me back!!!” She screamed, balling a fist and landing..... a rather adorably weak punch to the side of his head.

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Tomaz sighed gently as the girl tried to crawl away from him, whimpering about not wanting to die. He hadn’t imagined that he resembled death to the point of terrifying people, but Tomaz realized that he couldn’t hold anything she said against her. She was out of her mind with the drugs – her skin almost crawled with it, and he could practically smell the incense and fish that the heroine had been exposed to. He didn’t know how much she took, but he knew enough to be thankful that she wasn’t human.

“Come on,” he repeated softly, leaning down to scoop her into his arms. She brought her hands up and weakly pushed his away. He let his hands fall momentarily, before putting her into his arms. Her father had once rescued Rio from being murdered when his own son was too headstrong to admit that the entirety of Africa was too tough for him. Tomaz figured that even if it wasn’t his job as a good person to help her, it was his obligation to the Nomad to keep his daughter safe.

Especially when the entire mess was Rio’s fault. She almost immediately went limp in his arms, and he stroked her back as he took her out of the alley. Magpie rested her head against his shoulder, curling her fingers into his shirt. He quietly reminded her that he wouldn’t her, and Magpie stubbornly insisted that Rio told her not to trust anyone. “Did Rio tell you to do the drugs, too?” he asked, mildly pointed out that his son (despite the kid’s belief) was not an infallible resource.

“Shh, girl,” he said, walking down Rue La Fayette to his hotel on the Boulevard de Magenta. “You’re not going to die, trust me,” he said, still sticking to his American accent. He ignored the comment about Wonderland; she had no idea what she was saying, most likely. She began to thrash in his arms again and he sighed patiently as she pushed his face and punched his temple. “I’m here to hide you from Wonderland.”

When they reached the hotel on de Magenta, he opened the door and smiled toothily at the man behind the desk. “Can I help you, monsieur?”

“Yeah,” Tomaz said. “I have a reservation,” he continued, raising his tone slightly at the end to affect the confused American tourist.

“Name?”

“Steven L. Nelson,” he replied, fishing out his wallet with his free hand and handing the man his ‘identification’.

The man frowned, typing something into the computer and frowning up at him. “Your reservation is only for one.”

Tomaz silently pulled out several large bills, pushing them towards the Frenchman. “That’s okay, ain’t it?” he asked, holding out his hand for the key card.

The man grinned and winked, dropping the card into Tomaz’s outstretched hand. “Enjoy your stay in Paris, Monsieur Nelson.”

“Thank ya, Pierre. I’m sure I will.”

‘Pierre’, whose name tag said ‘Andres’ in bold print, rolled his eyes and muttered something about American tourists.

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“Did Rio tell you to do the drugs, too?”

“Rio has never made me do anything I did'n't want to do!” she huffed angrily at him before head head flopped back, too out of sorts to hold up the weight. She went off on a semi coherent tangent of trying to hide from the horrors of Wonderland and a mysterious cat.

“I’m here to hide you from Wonderland.”

She huffed and was silent for a moment before she started to giggle. And this wasn't one of those soft and innocent giggles, she was laughing at him as she shook her head and patted his cheek “There is no hiding from Wonderland. It's where we will go when we die. And unless you have some magic mushrooms in your pockets somewhere that make you live forever, It's where you're going too.”

She rested her head sleepily on his shoulder, trying very much to stay awake. But she was only just barely aware that she'd been brought inside, and was being carried towards a room. She opened that one blue eye and stared pensively at the stranger. “Why? Why are you taking me here.. just leave me alone. Alone. I can't be friends with you. You'll just leave me too and never come back. No one ever comes looking for me. Not Leo.. Not Maria.. Not even Rio. No one misses me.”

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Tomaz sighed patiently as she ranted about everyone leaving her. “Nobody can stay with you your entire life,” he told her, putting her on the bed gently. He rubbed her shoulder tentatively, sitting beside her. “Everyone has to leave. Some people die. Some people have to run,” he frowned. “They have to leave to protect you. And some others... they weren’t meant to be with you.” He leaned against the wall as he sat, pulling off his shoes and tossing them over to the door.

“You’ll see Rio again. I can promise you that,” he told her. His fingers tapped against his knee. “And don’t worry about being my friend. That isn’t what this is about.” Tomaz looked up to the ceiling, wondering how to explain this – her mind was shot, and she desperately needed sleep. “And as it happens, you’re quite missed.”

He stood up and pulled the blankets over her. “You need to sleep for now, Maggie. I’ll be on the couch over there if you need me during the night.” He smiled at her and rubbed her arm again, trying to be comforting. He curled up on the couch, his legs dangling awkwardly off the too-small couch. It was only five and a half feet wide, and he was quite a few inches over eight, leaving most of his leg hanging off.

Not the picture-perfect definition of comfortable, but at least it was a room.

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She sighed groggily, her mind buzzing as he tried to explain to her that not everyone could stay with her forever. That just made her sulk all the more as she pulled the blanket over her head and groaned as her head began to spin and her stomach tightened from the dizzying sensation. But the blanket was meekly pulled down at the mention of Rio and his reassurance that she would be seeing him again. She chewed her bottom lip anxiously. As much as she missed Rio, she didn't know if she wanted him seeing her like this. Breaking her promise and turning back to the needle when things got too hard. She didn't know if she could bare to see the disappointed look on his face.

“You need to sleep for now, Maggie. I’ll be on the couch over there if you need me during the night.”

Maggie stared at him for a moment. Her mind was a mess but she was coherent enough to realize something was off. “I... I never told you my name.” she informed him weakly as she finally rested her head on the pillow and just stared at him, trying to force her eyes to stay open. She knew she needed to sleep it off, but Maggie wasn't sure she wanted to be holed up in a room with a strange giant of a man who knew her name without her telling him. But she was too exhausted to do anything right now.. Maybe once she was sure he was asleep, she could try and sneak out of the room. Maggie eventually passed out and the hours ticked by.

By the time first light was creeping into the windows, Maggie's body ached and she was drenched in sweat as the pain of withdrawal wracked her whole body. She had tossed and turned to the point she had tightly cocooned herself into the blankets and she could barely move and she let out a faint whimper. “Water... please...”