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"Anxiety, an emotional response to an amount of stress that exceeds the capacity the body can handle. All living organisms with cognitive thought processes experience this response. In humans it manifests itself in compounded ways ranging from simple tensing of the muscles to complex nightmares in and out of the dream state." Luke stares attentively at his teacher as he sits in the somewhat crowded class room. It is the day before finals and today is the review day. He frowns at the sight of his peers resting their heads on the clearly unused text books, his own bearing the wear and tear of overuse.
"Anxiety is also known to cause health issues ranging from increased heart rate to attacks to the body." This perks Luke's ears as he remembers his own attack caused by anxiety. Of course this was caused by an alien life form not an emotional response. "Can anyone tell me things that can cause of anxiety?"
Naturally Luke's hand shoots into the air with the answer forming on the tip of his tongue.
"Anyone except Mr. Smith?" The silence answers for the teacher and he sighs, this had been the whole semester for him. "Alright Mr. Smith please answer the question."
"Well sir anxiety is caused when a person is confronted by a situation thought to be overwhelming and unavoidable. Such situations can be minute in size to massive. Anxiety is different from fear in that it is a mood not an instinct, therefore it can become a disorder." Luke answers in his steady and sure voice ignoring the eye rolls from his peers.
"Thank you Mr. Smith for quoting our text book." Luke nods his head in acceptance not getting that the professor had been being sarcastic. An hour later he returns to his room and looks at his closest friend and companion at school, and his only link to his home, K9.
"Hello K9."
"Greetings Master Luke." The mechanical tone in K9's voice makes him feel all the more comforted.
"I hope I am ready for these tests."
"You will pass. Your fear is misplaced." K9's answer sways Luke's fear, unknown to him however an all too familiar force is growing in his mind.
Was she going forwards or backwards in time? The answer wasn't as easy as it was for most people.
The electric tricycle she suddenly found herself riding was a clue, and an unwelcome one at that. Had she become old, and now in wandering senile mind forgotten a double dozen years and last remembered Luke's final's week? Or was she traveling to the past? She looked around the Diner she found herself in and realized it seemed very much like the senario Clyde had described for her when they'd had that horrible brush with the Nightmare Man.
Then he was in her ear. She'd never forget the gravel and silk of his voice. She would not forget how disturbingly modern he had seemed, like a street hooligan who spouted short, terrifying poetry. She tried to jolt away, but found her body weighty and stiff. Apparently she was sitting in this motorized scooter because she had to. The thought of it made her heart fall into her stomach.
The Man was near now, his makeup looking like a drunk clown the next morning. And not one of the supposedly happy clowns.
"Do you hear me! Where is your son! Where is your son! Tell me!" To her own surprise, she slugged him right across the jaw.
With a scream, she awoke, sitting up fast on the attic and looking around wild eyed. Was this the past again? or the present? This was 13 Bannerman Street, just as she expected to see it. A few months after Luke's departure to Oxford. She brought up a hand. Young. Well, relatively. her fingers still straight, narrow and strong. She pressed that hand to her chest, feeling a strong solid beat there, then realized she had a better judge for the time. Her I-phone. There it sat on the coffee table where she'd left it, scooping it up and checking the time stamp. Three o' clock of the same morning.
Something was terribly wrong. Not because it was about three. Wrong because she realized there was white pancake makeup smeared across the back of her hand. She almost dropped her phone, instead she simply gasped.
"Oh . .oh no." she said, under her breath, then she quickly accessed her calendar. Luke wouldn't be done with his tests for two more days. She refused to bother him now. If this turned out to be anything more than just too much sugar on her toast, she could be sure to stay safe by not sleeping. She would not until she was certain it was all just a dream, or when Luke came home for his break in three or four days.
Ah the freedom of the sun on his face warmed Luke's tired mind. He hadn't been sleeping well the past few days. The exams had taken a toll on him as well, he felt worn thin and his eyes burned. On top of that there seemed to be numbers burned to his vision as well as bubbles. He shook his head trying to clear it from the test weariness it had had to suffer recently. He sighs and walks to the cantina to grab some lunch.
**Time Skip to packing*
Luke packed up his closet and looked at his two suitcases full of clothes and other necessary items. He sighed and looked at K-9 who is talking to the computer Luke had ended up giving to the little robot dog. "Are you sure you do not want to come with me K-9?"
"Affirmative Master Luke. I shall remain here I find this place interesting."
Luke smirked at his friend and shook his head. "You and I both K-9." He finished placing things in his suitcase and closed it before looking at his friend. "Have a nice break K-9. Call me if you change your mind."
K-9's ears twisted a bit then he responded. "Affirmative Master Luke." He then returned to doing whatever he did on that computer. Luke never bothered to check figuring K-9 knew what he was doing.
**Time Skip over boring drive*
Luke looked at his familiar home. So many adventures with his best friends had happened from this house. He gets out of the car and waited for his mother to hug him and then most likely check him over. He smiles and shook his head, such thoughts proved how tired he was. He should no better then trying to predict his mother. For all he knew she was off fighting the Slitheen. With a snort he opened the backdoor of his car and grabbed his suitcases.
The depth of her joy surprised her as Luke pulled up in the little yellow bug. She had a variety of reasons that she was pleased to see him, but even cumulatively it could not easily explain the rush of joy that hit her. She flew down the stairs and out the front door. By the time his car came to a stop in the driveway, she was already there. If he hadn't been so quick with it, Sarah Jane would have yanked the door open herself.
It felt so good that when she opened her arms wide that he came right to her and put his arms around her. She hugged him hard, terribly thankful that he was whole and hale. It felt like a mother feeling though, not as though she feared alien influence. She supposed every mother felt the same way as she did right now, and it brought her much comfort. Luke was such an unexpected gift in her life.
She knew he hadn't had time to grow taller, but perhaps it was only that she was remembering when he was smaller. Smaller than her. He may have even been a bit bigger than her, but she wasn't yet willing to admit it. It was actually a comfort that he needed her as she noticed his laundry bag bulging in the back seat.
"Welcome home Luke." She greeted warmly in his ear. She gave him another hard squeeze then pulled back to see him at arm's length. Perhaps it was that he had been away, but she was struck again at how much he looked like her. The exact shade of her skin, the walnut dark brown of his hair that was exactly as hers had been when she was that age. The line of his jaw, however, was starting to change, the line of a boy who was just reaching the first thin edge of adulthood. Stronger.
He looked rumpled but clean. Too thin. Always eager as well, which was a balm to her soul indeed.
"College looks good on you, Luke." She proclaimed, unable to stop the wide grin on her face even if she'd wanted to, though she knew she was beaming. She'd never thought having a child would be as satisfying as this. No, this fine full feeling in her heart had continued to amaze her since she'd dragged him out of the Bubbleshock plant in his socks and a hospital smock. No, not quite then. It was when he'd first called her 'Mum'.
"Was the drive alright?" She asked, taking out his laundry as he got his luggage from the boot.
She had not slept in over 50 hours, but at her age experience and determination counted for a lot. She could last quite a while longer.
Luke smiled wide and hugged Sarah Jane tightly. He kissed her cheek and then pulled back grabbing his suitcases. "Mum you don't have to get my laundry I can do it." Then he noticed something, something others would have brushed off to worry but he knew his mum better than others, something was off. She seemed less bouncy, or maybe to bouncy, something in her step that was less certain than at other times. Luke had seen his mother face down countless enemies with a brave face, well braver than other faces anyway of course there was fear. Now she seemed to be putting on a show. He shook his head and berated himself for being to presumptuous and told himself to remember his manners. She was probably just worried about him, she always did worry so when he was away. So giving her a second hug he walked into the house he knew so well.
He looked about and chuckled. Nothing had changed, it looked exactly like it had when he had left. He looked up towards where he knew the hidden staircase to where the super computer Mr. Smith lay hidden waiting for orders, he wondered if any new alien artifacts lay collecting dust up there. Do you really think she would tell you? She has probably held parties since you left and that's why she's so different. Luke stiffened when the Nightmare Man's voice filtered into his mind and he shook his head. No he wouldn't worry his mom, not yet, first he would enjoy some time with her. He inwardly shoved the voice back not believing a word of it. "Hey mum, what's for tea?" He tried to keep his tone it's normal inquisitive state, but he flinched when it wavered a bit at the end. He hoped she didn't catch it but steeled himself for her worried look overs if she did.
"Mum you don't have to get my laundry I can do it." Twelve words that summed up most of what she'd dared hoped for when the flag of women's liberation had begun to climb the steep angle of public opinion. She loved the flash of confusion on his face when she'd offered to do it for him. He would not bring the need for a set of lists that made of the traditional devision of labor. He would not need it. He would be a man of all trades, and that included knowing how to do his own laundry.
It was difficult to not make assumptions, but she'd love him helplessly whatever he chose to be.
"Hey mum, what's for tea?"
Perhaps coming home wasn't as easy as waiting at home. His voice bobbled just a tiny bit. Distracted. She gave him a brisk rub on his free shoulder and patted him toward the door.
She decided that he really hadn't grown taller than her yet, but even if he had, he was so slim. She was glad he was hungry. And she was smug that she'd timed everything. Considering she'd organized covert operations behind enemy lines with her splendid crew, it was rather simple to come up with a good hearty a hot Tea he could not resist.
"Delivery Pizza. Your favorite, the one with the extra olives and cheese 'round the rim'!" She said, shamelessly pleased with herself. Seeing Luke was giving her a lovely burst of energy that she could use just now.
When Luke came inside the house he would find it in unusual disarray. Not like the chaos that sometimes swirled here when she was in deep investigative mode. This was a sprinkling of empty brown beer bottles. A whiff of smoke. Sarah Jane's papers stacked haphazardly in the corners, the tables given up to a bowl of crisps that held just two. There was an empty bottle of wine and three wine glasses. A fine looking cap was pinned up on a door sill with the word 'Torchwood' beautifully embroidered in strong font across the front. The pizza boxes took up the table beside the couch.
Luke smiled at his mom at the sound of pizza and allowed a soft, somewhat tired, laugh. He sat at the kitchen table and looked around the house. "I see you're not on a mission. Has it been calm?" He knew calm for them meant little to no alien activity and so was a rare thing. He remembered the many jokes in between missions when him and his friends would try to guess how long it would be to the next mission and then how long it would be to the next break. Those at first had seemed so pointless to him but now he found he missed them dearly. As he took in what to others would seem like a chaotic mess, but to him seemed like a welcome home banner, the voice of the Nightmare man returned. "Sure seems like she's been partying to me." He shoved the voice back sharply but couldn't help the slight stiffening of his spine and angry flash in his eyes. He relaxes and hopes his mother missed that as well.
He knew he should tell his mother about the voice. Last time he hadn't told her nearly resulted in the Nightmare Man escaping. But he wanted to have a normal tea time with his mom. Well as normal as a tea time can get when you lived with Sarah Jane Smith, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Trying to distract himself, as well as deter any questions she might have if she did spot the stiffening of his back, he asked another question. "Mom why do people fall asleep during lectures? Wouldn't that negate the purpose of going to the class if you plan on sleeping through it?" He looked at her with innocent curiosity as he waited for the pizza and answer to be forthcoming.
There was thinking frowning and irritated frowning. She'd seen his irritated frown, but it was extremely rare that it was aimed at her. She saw it there for a moment and something cold grabbed her heart.
It was everything she feared . Up until now, he'd only lived in her world. Lived with her. Did as she said. Went where she told him. Now he'd been away in the larger world. There were so many ways of doing and being. What if now he found her . . .old fashioned. What if he no longer needed a Mum? She took small consolation that he clearly needed the pizza. She'd brought out plates and napkins that were waiting on the table. She took a seat and gave him a smile as light as she could manage. She hid as best she could her sudden unease. At his question, she bit her lip a moment, thinking. It was awkward to try to give her best at being Mum and avoid being 'un-cool' or even plain nervous.
"Going away to school is a big change for some people, Luke." she managed to say with quite a bit of her usual verve. "Part of the learning is learning how to go to bed on time. You've never been rebellious. I bet you're still behaving like your Mum is still right at your side, aren't you?" It was what she intended to say, but it didn't come out quite as she expected. Close enough though. It was going to take some time, she figured, for them to get used to this new stage in their lives. Deep inside she felt a streak of loneliness that she hadn't felt since the moment she took him home. Worried he'd see something in her face, she let her hair fall across her cheek and fussed with the soda pop.
"Are you sleeping all right up in the dorms?" She did her best to ask as casually as she could. "Homesick at all?"
"Going away to school is a big change for some people, Luke." she managed to say with quite a bit of her usual verve. "Part of the learning is learning how to go to bed on time. You've never been rebellious. I bet you're still behaving like your Mum is still right at your side, aren't you?"
Luke smiled at his mother when she said this. “I know mom. It was a lot of change for me. Such a big school and it was full new people who didn’t understand me.” He didn’t mention the fact he didn’t have a whole lot of friends since he didn’t have anything in common with them. A lot of his friendship with Rani and Clyde was really based on the fact they all fought aliens together. Most of his friends at college were probably only his friends due to school work and group projects.
His smile faltered a bit at her next statement as his desire to have a normal tea time and his moral standards, well such as they were, battled together. He felt his lips turn ever so slightly down as he debated telling her about his nightmare. In the end he decided to evade the conversation by taking a big bite of pizza and chewing for a few minutes, he savored the bombardment of multiple tastes as the hit his palate. The acidy saltiness of the sauce, the sweet cheese, the bland yet sumptuous taste of the bread, and the oily meaty taste of the pepperoni, they all combined harmoniously on his tongue.
Finally he figured he better answer. “I don’t think I can be rebellious mum. My sleeping pattern has remained fairly normal, I worked out a structured schedule for work and sleep and class.” He smiled proudly at being able to tell his mother his achievement at something so hard. He figured he wasn’t lying since what he was saying was true. “I do still act like you’re around mom, but it’s hard since I only see you on our video chats.” He took another bite waiting for a sharp reprimand. Maybe it was his tired mind or the stress from school but he could swear his mother seemed on edge about something.
"Are you sleeping all right up in the dorms?" She did her best to ask as casually as she could. "Homesick at all?"
Luke almost, almost, flinched when she hit the nail on the head. Now he couldn’t avoid it, not without lying to his mother’s face, and he had to broach the topic he feared. Well he might as well start with the easiest topic. “I miss you a lot mom. I miss our adventures and even your cooking sometimes.” He really did, it seemed to him the cantina had worse cooking than his mom, something he didn’t even think was possible.
With a sigh of resignation he looks at his mother. He felt like he was about to deliver the news that the Slytheen had stolen his favorite math professor’s body. “The Nightmare Man came to me last night. He told me you don’t miss me.” Surprisingly he felt a single tear threaten to slip down his cheek. Why was he feeling so emotional today? It was obvious his mother missed him. He quickly rubbed the tear away and pretended to rub his eye like he saw Clyde do whenever a girl he particularly liked didn’t go out with him. “How has he come back mom?”
Last Edit: Feb 27, 2014 19:59:41 GMT -5 by Deleted
Had something been out of focus? There was no whiff of smoke, no light scattering of beer bottles in the corners. Sarah Jane's house was never exactly tidy, but it was just cluttered, not dirty. Had it seemed that Sarah Jane was a shade contemptuous of his ability to make it in the world without him? And to Sarah Jane had it seemed as though he was sorry to return?
Something had been blurring their perceptions. Luke's sudden honesty snapped everything back into focus. She could see him so clearly now, and wondered that she could ever doubt him. At his broken words, she just barely managed to get her pizza crust-side-down. Luke was just lucky he wasn't holding one at the time because she leaned in and swept him into a hug. She felt so much better, it was a rush.
"Oh, my dear boy." She said, almost more to herself. Of course she'd been imagining things. If she had not had Luke in her arms, she would have folded with the ache in her gut as she realized that he'd probably been having the same experience as she. Had she only imagined that scornful look? What had he seen in her that had made him feel so far away? That at least, seemed broken for now. She pulled out and held him at arm's length, her dark hazel eyes stormy with worry.
"Oh, Luke! Of course I miss you." the delicate wings of her eyebrows knit as she searched his eyes that were so like hers. "Are you alright?!"
Luke found himself relaxed in his mother's arms. He had always been safe here with her. Oh sure there had been missions, and dangerous aliens, and other things, but she was always there and she always made things better. He found himself clinging to her, gently of course, and allowing himself to just take in the comfort of knowing she was here and he was still her son. He held back the tears, he refused to cry. He didn't want her to worry, and besides he never cried. Well okay that wasn't true but he rarely did, even when he was in pain. So he focused on holding onto his mother.
"Oh, Luke! Of course I miss you." the delicate wings of her eyebrows knit as she searched his eyes that were so like hers. "Are you alright?!"
He looked at her and smiled one of his dazzling smiles, the innocent childlike smile, he wanted to make her smile as well. He grinned as she said she missed him, when she proved the Nightmare Man wrong and lessened his hold. Then he frowned, was he alright? He didn't know if he was or wasn't. Was he? He had an evil psychotic clown slowly implanting itself in his mind. He decided to answer her truthfully. "I'm not sure mom. I thought we destroyed the Nightmare Man last time but I was wrong. Perhaps Mr. Smith will know what to do? Last time he ran a scan on me though he didn't find anything wrong." Something else occurred to him as he said this. Now Mr. Smith would know what to look for. "Then again he now knows what to look for, perhaps he could modify his scan..."
Suddenly Luke felt weak, the laugh was growing stronger. "Mom! He's coming he'll try to command me try to make me not fight him. He did that to last time. That's why I made the video." He pulled back from her embrace. He had to fight this, for his mother, he would not let her see him lying there half gone again. He would beat this, he must. He felt a bit worried. He didn't know what this creature could do. He didn't want to be near his mom if he became violent. "Mom I don't know what he's capable of, what he can make me capable of." He looked at her he had to get this out quickly. "He might make me be bad." He felt the tears choke him up, his greatest fear, his mom sending him away because he was bad. Would the Nightmare Man separate them then? Play on his greatest fear? And then came the laughter. Oh yes my Lukey boy, I am yet here and will make you pay for defeating me. There is no one to fight your battle now. The voice came and went like the wind, but the fear remained.
Last Edit: Mar 10, 2014 21:40:35 GMT -5 by Deleted
It didn't matter what they were facing. It was having him near that she had needed so that she could think straight. Now she could protect him, and her thoughts began to clear. Luke, of course, had all the answers. He was so like the Doctor that way, and something about their eyes. Innocence, though how either could know as much as they did and still be innocent was a wonderment to her.
It was as comforting as a candle flame in the dark. She held on to his shoulders as he spoke, and thank the stars because a moment later he started to sag. She dragged in a breath of shock and tried to steady him.
She was shocked when he gently warded her off with a wave of his arm, pulling out of her hands, which opened as soon as he pulled away.
"Luke!"
He kept speaking, clearly struggling, she drinking every word, and pulling him back toward her, his protests weakened as he continued to slowly slump.
His words shot through her like an icicle, and she gave him a little shake, feeling him slip farther away. It was then she realized Luke was being attacked this very instant. The Nightmare Man had come for her son. It was so frightening to see Luke sag toward sleep, she wanted to shake him hard.
Never shake a baby, said a campaign in her head. For all that he'd grown a little taller than her, his bones, his tendons . .he was still a very young child, really. Very young, and fighting too large a foe.
She looked around at the walls as if they could hear her. Could he hear her? "Leave my son alone!" She shouted. "You coward! Come after me why don't you!" Sarah Jane realized she was shouting too close to Luke, especially after what he had just said. Her hands shifted to support him, not grip him. Instantly, her voice was low and soft.
"Luke. He can't do that. He can't make you bad . . . there is nothing bad inside you . .you good and kind and thoughtful, you're so bright-" Her words were rushing out, as if to catch him gently with them. At the look of pain in his face, her words rushed out more charged. "Luke, you fight him, I know you can . . .I believe in you!"
Her voice broke as she whipped her head around to address the otherwise empty room.
Luke wanted to tell his mom not to worry, but he couldn’t even speak. He wanted her to not be afraid, but he can’t comfort his mother. He didn’t like this at all, he didn’t like this at all. Yet the Nightmare Man’s taunting laughs drew him in against his will. He couldn’t fight them, he felt the lull of sleep. He could feel his body sway and begin to slump, and then arms were around him, his mother’s arms.
"Leave my son alone!" She shouted. "You coward! Come after me why don't you!”
The laughs grew louder and louder and he began to fall faster and faster. No I will not Sarah Jane. Your son is mine. You can’t stop me. Luke felt a flash of fear and anger at those words. He began to struggle against those laughs. He wanted to comfort his mother, to tell her he was alright and she didn’t have to worry about him. They had Mr. Smith and each other.
"Luke. He can't do that. He can't make you bad . . . there is nothing bad inside you . .you good and kind and thoughtful, you're so bright-" Her words were rushing out, as if to catch him gently with them. At the look of pain in his face, her words rushed out more charged. "Luke, you fight him, I know you can . . .I believe in you!”
Her words brought power to his struggles. They reminded him he wasn’t evil, he wasn’t the Archetype anymore. No one could make him that again, no one could turn him bad. He had fought to hard to be good, faced to many enemies to lose now. He had to fight, he had to win, he had to prove to his mom he was alright. Leave me alone! I don’t belong to you! I am Luke Smith, and I AM GOOD!! He felt the laughs grow dimmer, felt his enemy back off a bit. He took more power from that and continued to fight.
"Leave him ALONE!"
He felt the Nightmare Man leave his mind completely, but he knew this battle was far from one. He felt his eyes open and he looked into the frightened face of his mother. He said the first thing that came to his mind. “Mom, is there still pizza? I’m a bit hungry."
He was fighting like she knew he would. Fighting hard, and he was strong. But he was human, so very human, and this thing they were up against was not. It wasn't fair. Still she was proud as she watched his face, knowing how hard he fought by his expression. She could tell by the softly mumbled insistence of his voice.
"Yes, Luke! That's right! You fight him!"
Then he went limp, terrifying her, but before she could act, his eyes were coming open.
"Luke?" “Mom, is there still pizza? I’m a bit hungry."
It was so absolutely normal that relief swept through her. She caught him by the shoulders and yanked him up to hold him hard too her. She didn't let go until the hammering in her chest eased. It didn't take more than a baker's dozen of heartbeats, but he would not escape her before that. Once she could though, and had managed to wipe the doubt and worry from her face, she held him out by the arms, laughing a little at his teenage appetite.
"You can eat later . .tell me what happened? Are you alright?!"
"You can eat later . .tell me what happened? Are you alright?!”
Luke choked a bit as his mother hugged him close to her. However he hugged her back the solidity of her, the fact she was there, was enough to calm him and bring certainty that he was alive to him. She was there and he was still conscious. He smiled at her and nodded his head to her.
“The Nightmare Man tried to take me again. He tried to tell me you didn’t love me anymore, didn’t want me anymore.” His voice was clear and steady as he told her what had happened. “He tried to get me to give up. But then I heard you calling for me and I knew he was lying to me and I knew I had to fight to get free.” He looked at her and smiled at his mother. “I knew I had to get back to you mum."
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